


A Night Out On the Waves

by lady_lazaret



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 09:10:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15385503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_lazaret/pseuds/lady_lazaret
Summary: Julian and the apprentice get the happy ending they deserve





	A Night Out On the Waves

There are galaxies in the water. 

Back against the prow, I trail one hand over the surface, creating ripples that reflect the night sky above. Through the chaos of the trial, this is the first true taste of peace we’ve had since that night in the garden, and I still find myself numb with relief. Along with it comes the feeling that none of this is real. It might all just be a dream, another trail in the water that vanishes with each swipe of my fingers. 

It would be cruel. 

I jerk my hand out of the water when a silvery shape swims by. As far as I know, eels don’t frequent these parts, but with the euphoria of escaping the trial altogether unscathed, I’m not willing to risk anything. When my finger knocks against a loose splinter, I curse, immediately wiping the bit of blood against my clothes. 

“Scared of a fish?” asks Julian from his post by the oars. 

“After the last time, can you blame me?” I answer, swiping my fingers across the spot where the eel bite had once bled. If I think hard, I can still feel the pain, but I let it alone. I focus on what’s in front of me and smile. 

With a few rocks of the boat, he closes the distance between us and holds my injured hand between his. I shake my head, curling my fingers into a fist. I know what he’s thinking, and I won’t let him take any more pain for me, not when he just barely escaped the gallows. It’s enough pain for a lifetime, though I don’t think he understands that. 

I edge closer to him and worry briefly if the boat will topple, but it holds fast, swaying only a little bit before returning to the gentle rhythm of the waves. 

“When you said a gondolier owed you a favor, I didn’t think you’d take them up on that a week after you’re exonerated for murder.” 

“If it meant more stolen moments with you, then you know I would have brought you here the minute I was released.” 

“Whatever this is,” I say, motioning between us. “Doesn’t have to be stolen anymore. You’re not running. You’re a free man.” The words still don’t feel real, but I thank the powers that be that I have the freedom to say them nonetheless.

“I’ll never be free here. Whatever paths we take will always be overshadowed by everything that’s happened. You know that wherever we’ll go, people will recognize us and they’ll talk. They’ll still think that the trial was a sham and that no matter what I do—”

“That no matter what you do, you deserve to die?” I finish. The brief expression of shock on his face is confirmation enough. I sigh. “Don’t tell me you think that way too. You’re free for a reason. If you were destined to hang, then you would have been hanged, but you’re here,” I say, “You’re here, and…” I trail off, voice dropping into a pleading whisper, “You’re here and you know we don’t have to stay.” 

When he doesn’t speak, I continue. I don’t give him a chance to object to this. “What’s holding us back? You’ve gone places before. You keep telling me that one day, you’ll see the world with me. You can’t keep promising me things without planning on going through with them because one day can’t mean never, Ilya.” I pause, if only to choke back the rising intensity in my voice. I wipe the tears gathering in my eyes and I straighten my back, meeting his gaze dead-on. “You don’t want to live a life that consists of nothing but looking over your shoulder? Fine. This is your chance. Leave Vesuvia. Go anywhere you want. But take me with you.” 

And then I’m swept up into his arms, his faint laughter against my ear. 

“Of that, there is no doubt, my dear. Do you really think I can live with myself if I left you for a minute?” His smile is teasing but his tone is only half as such. 

I sputter out a sob, hiding my face in the crook of his neck. “If you left me, I don’t think I can live without seeing that face,” I say, voice cracking as I try to laugh. His fingers tangle themselves in my hair, and I’m again struck by how I still get to have him here with me at all.

“Look at you,” he says, “Spouting out dramatic speeches. I think you’ve been spending too much time with me.”

“Not enough time,” I say, holding him closer. 

“I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted more time with you,” he said. “I do want a life with you. I won’t leave you hanging.” 

“That,” I say, with a fresh wave of tears, “was not a good pun.” 

“It wasn’t—” He sighs, letting go of me to run a hand through his hair. “Look.” He holds my face between his hands. They’re blessedly warm against the night chill. “You look like you could use more convincing.” 

“Can you blame me? The last time you told me you wanted anything with me, you… The last time you talked to me about any sort of future, it ended badly.” 

His fingers are damp with my tears when he reaches out to take my hands so that both are held out in front of us. 

“No amount of promising might ever make you sure, but indulge me.” 

I snivel away the rest of my tears and straighten my back, looking over to him, then away. I know for a fact that fresh misery doesn’t look particularly enchanting on my face. Looking out over into the sky’s reflection on the waves, I nod, and he squares his shoulders, as if getting ready for a performance. I prepare myself. 

“A lot of people would agree that my life is a litany of wrongs.” 

The doubt that this will be an answer to the speech I gave earlier ebbs away immediately. 

“There are only just enough rights to count on the fingers of one hand, and the greatest of those rights is you.” His lips brush against my cheek, effectively kissing away a trail of tears before they dry. “And the greatest of those wrongs was to turn you away, and to hurt you, and to put you through everything I did.” When another tear rolls down my cheek, he wipes it away with a sad smile. 

“It’s okay,” I assure him, “We can leave that behind now.” I gaze out into the open water, wanting nothing more than to do just that. 

“But I don’t want to. Because if I forget, I might end up making the same mistakes, and the next time I do…” 

There’s fear in his voice. I know it’s the exact curl of cold terror that came to me down in the dungeon. I unlace our fingers so I can touch his cheek. 

“And the next time you do, I’ll leave you?” I ask. And again, he confirms my assumption. I shake my head, amused. Gently, I reach up to run my fingers through his hair.

“Ilya,” I say. “I would have made a spectacle of walking out during the trial if I wanted to leave you. I don’t think you understand that I know what I want, and no matter how much you think so, you can’t scare me away. You can try,” I add, laughing, “but no. If I wanted to leave, even now, I definitely wouldn’t have agreed to a boat ride on a cold night when I could be literally anywhere else. But I’m here.” When his frown doesn’t ease, I repeat, “I’m here. I’ll stay.” 

He looks at me as if I’m something celestial. With no shortage of pure wonder, he takes me in his arms and covers my mouth with his, desperately, as if I might melt into the waves if he doesn’t hold on. 

When we at last part, he entwines our fingers once more. 

“I’m not turning you away again,” he says with finality. “You’re more than I deserve, and I’d be damned if I made you leave because I know that I’d spend the rest of my life trying to make up for that mistake. And I’m done with mistakes.” 

“Julian—” 

“I promise to never break into your shop again. At least, not if I know you aren’t there.” He says it with a kind of solemnity that leaves me at a loss for words. I stare at him, dumbfounded. He swipes his hand over his face and laughs before settling back down. And then he pins me with a look so intense that though I try to speak, not a word escapes me.

“And I promise to never so readily put you through anything that could hurt you ever again. I can’t promise that I won’t end up trying to push you away, but I’ll try to be someone you deserve. And, in turn, I’ll work towards becoming someone good enough to deserve you. If you’ll let me.” 

I embrace him before I can even think of doing anything else. “You already are. You’re deserving of all of this.” 

When I pull away, a ring lays on the palm of his hand, glinting in the soft evening light. It’s been tarnished by a few years’ worth of wear, but it’s still the same one I remember. 

“I was looking for the perfect time to give this back to you,” he says, sheepish. And all at once, I’m gripped by the sense of the rightness of this moment. The ring winks up at me as I stare at it, and I remember the familiar weight of it on my finger. I look away from it, if only to stare at Julian’s face in wonder. 

My resulting smile is stained by tears brought on by slivers of memory.

“Wait,” I say. “If this is what I think it is, then don’t I have to make my own promises first?” I tilt my head when he freezes. “Come on, Ilya. Indulge me.” 

My use of his own words snaps him out of his daze, and he holds both my hands in his again, the ring warm between our fingers. I feel a giddy sort of nervousness overcome me when I open my mouth to speak.

“Once we’re out of here, I promise that we never have to hide again.” I take a deep breath. “We’ll never have to run. We’ll never have to fear for our lives, never have to risk another hanging. And in the off-chance that we do, I promise to stand by you through everything, as I have, and I promise to never give up on you. Whether you’re in a dark place, be it in a dungeon, or your own mind, I’ll get you out of it. No matter how many times I have to. And I promise that no matter how many days we have to spend fearful of anything at all, I won’t leave you as long as you stand by me too.” 

By the end, we’re both crying and both seeking each other out. This is how it will be for a long time, I think. We have to hold each other to tell ourselves that this is real. But every frightened embrace, every terrified whisper in the dark will all be worth it because of every sacrifice we’ve had to make to get here.

He slips the ring onto my finger, and together, we turn to the vastness of the ocean before us.

**Author's Note:**

> I usually write on tumblr so this and all my other works for The Arcana can be found over on @lady-lazaret on tumblr


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